Office Spouses
by Melanie Joy Douglas, Monster.ca
If you haven’t already heard, people are saying “I do” to taking – for better or for worse – an office spouse. Now you can be married to your job – and your favourite coworker. A survey done last year by Vault reported that 32% of employees acknowledge having an office spouse. That figure is likely even higher now.
Workplace spousing reflects a growing number of workers who share a marriage-like relationship on the job with a coworker of the opposite sex. Workplace spouses share special confidences, loyalties, shared jokes and experiences, and unbridled honesty. Bound by mutual respect, common interests, and a lot of chemistry (the kind that good friends have), workplace spouses can read each other’s mood and minds and are each other’s closest confidant in the work world.
As Tom Prince writes, a workplace spouse is “…a fellow corporate soldier to share the smirks, the laughs, the deep, plaintive groans of incredulity, and the rare moments of self-awareness.”
But what happens when you get home? The best perk: significant others (the real kind) have no qualms about office marriages. In fact, they most often benefit from it.
Why now?
Only in the last couple of decades have men and women become peers in the workplace. As women increasingly climb the corporate ladder, men and women are working together as equals now more than they ever have before. This new camaraderie along with long hours at work has changed the dynamics.
Employees now spend most of their waking hours together. With lengthy hours and minute work spaces (the bane of the modern-day cube), men and women are forming supportive relationships that resemble what they have at home. Having someone at work who has an intuitive understanding of the expectations, duties, pressures, personalities, interaction, and work life in general adds an invaluable amount of comfort on a daily basis.
Let’s face it. At work, there are so many “had to be there moments” – most impossible to explain to a real spouse later in the evening. It’s usually all inside jokes, impersonations, and stories that seem insignificant, even petty, when told later in the day to someone who wasn’t there. Not only is it futile, it’s boring for your real partner.
Benefits
The benefits are many:
- Wonderful support system among workers. The bond makes them feel happier about coming to the office. Employees with a work spouse feel like they’re playing with a teammate. They are comforted and supported.
- Engagement. The bond makes employees feel more engaged. Gallup interviewed 4.5 million employees across the U.S. between 2002 and 2004 and found that 30% had a best friend in the office. Of this group, close to 60% said they felt engaged at work, while 65% of employees without an office best friend said they were disengaged.
- Outlet for expression. Instead of stewing about something all day long before recounting it a spouse at night, work spouse are able to tell each other their problems – completely vent – knowing that whatever they say won’t go any further.
- Broader perspective. Male-female partnerships at the office help to women to see a male point of view, while men can get a female’s perspective. Work spouses are able to disagree without offending each other.
- Career counsellor. Work spouses can listen to each other and provide insightful feedback. They can keep each other in line. When one gets riled up and wants to shoot off a nasty email to his boss, the other can be the voice of reason and talk him through the situation.
- Entertainment. What fun is work if not for impersonating the boss? And what fun is impersonating the boss with an audience who’s never met him? Nothing makes the days fly by like a good dose of laughter.
Tips for making your office marriage work
- Make the relationship clear. It’s unfortunate that when a man and a woman spend a lot of time together, people start talking. A nasty office rumour can sabotage more than your career.
- Don’t exclude others and appear like a little clique. Make an effort to work with other people and invite other colleagues to lunch, after-work activities.
- Keep your ‘real spouse’ close by. You should be able to bring your office spouse home to your real spouse.
- Avoid excessive touching and flirting. This is a no-brainer. Having an office spouse should be fun and comforting, but should always remain professional.