Engaging Your Networking Partner
by Colleen Clarke
Away you go to yet another business or social function. Have you checked your listening and engaging skills lately or do you take them for granted? What mannerisms do you like people to use when you are speaking? My guess is they would appreciate the same from you. Keeping distractions at bay can be quite a challenge. Stay focused and concentrate on what you are doing, engaging and listening, not composing grocery lists in your head.
For many of us, entering a room full of strangers is intimidating; for professional networkers like myself, it is exciting and full of undiscovered opportunities. Anne Baber and Lynne Waymon talk about engaging in their book Make Your Contact Count. Make a positive impression through body language as you engage in conversation by:
E = establishing eye contact. When you first introduce yourself or are introduced to someone, look that person right in the eyes, for about as long as it takes to record the colour of his eyes in your mind. While conversing, look at the person's face, not necessarily just his eyes. Break contact every seven or eight seconds by taking a sip of a drink, a nibble of food, or just a glance over his shoulder. Glance down, then back.
N = nodding. Use active listening like nodding or short comments like, "I see" or
"ah huh" or "that's interesting" to indicate you are interested and paying attention. Do not ask questions mid-sentence or mid-stream, just nod and use facial expressions.
G = geniality. Smile when the occasion warrants it. Be cheerful and cordial to tell your partner that you're enjoying the discourse.
A = aiming your attention. Let your body language acknowledge that your full attention is focused on that person, that he has special qualities and you are aware of them. Leaning into someone expresses interest, while leaning away is negative. Keep the eye contact.
G = gesturing appropriately. Use gestures to emphasize key words or concepts. You aren't to flail around like a wounded bird, but certainly use your hands and your body to convey passion and interest. Touching people on the arm is reinforcing, but be sure it is welcomed by the receiver.
E = easing your posture. Stand with your weight evenly distributed on both feet, and lean in slightly to listen intently, with arms at your side. Try not to cross your arms while listening so the gesture is not misinterpreted as not being open to the speaker's ideas.
These ideas are really just common courtesy, but it is so easy to let our attentiveness slip with so many people around, noise, and outside stimulation. The more attention you give people, the more they will like you, and the easier it will be to build trust and strong interpersonal relationships.
Colleen Clarke
Career Specialist & Corporate Trainer
Author of Networking How to Build Relationships That Count
E-Book Work in Progress: Work Search and Job Retention
www.colleenclarke.com
csc@colleenclarke.com